About
No sponsor, no coach, and no overarching plan.
I was born in Cambridge in 1989, spent most of my life in Woodbridge, and now live in the Chilterns with two border collies who are entirely uninterested in any of this. I work in a job that has nothing to do with it either. Almost all of it happened on annual leave, and several of them required me to be back at a desk on the Monday, including the gravy.
People look for a theme. The closest I have is that each of these has a clear, unarguable finishing condition — the bean is longer or it is not, the drink wins or it does not — which is not something most of life provides.
Not attempted
- A marathon
- No.
- Anything involving horses
- A horse has its own plans.
- Competitive eating
- I know my limit and it is one doughnut.
- Skiing
- Once, in 2011. Not discussed.
- Agility
- The collies would win and we all know it.
- Karaoke
- I have released an album. It is not the same thing and I will not be taking questions.
Frequently asked
- Is the sheep alive?
- Yes. She is six, she is in Midlothian, and she has no idea.
- Can I see the tattoo?
- No.
- Do you really tattoo dogs?
- Ears, for identification, under a vet, about twice a year. Yes, I know how it sounds. That is largely why I say it.
- Is the album on Spotify?
- It is. I would gently encourage you to leave it there.
- Why do any of this?
- A colleague described me as risk-averse in a performance review in 2015 and I have not fully recovered.